No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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