And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
