his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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