Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
