I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize