You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There's even glitter on my cock...
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