it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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