ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
