He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize