I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he thought i was a dude.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
