just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize