People with herpes should wear stickers.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
God, I missed his penis.
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