yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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