so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Randomize
