i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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