Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
