Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
