In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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