Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
