Jerry, you need to find god
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
