we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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