Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
