so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
