just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
