She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
