Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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