Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
