He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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