I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
