She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize