I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
