Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
