Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
