I just pynch a tree in the face
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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