I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
