I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
