who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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