Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
