what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
