Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
