i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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