are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
