they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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