girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
