If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
