Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
