Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
