I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
