The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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