He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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