I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
zippers are such a cool invention
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize