Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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