I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
