Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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