Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
