Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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