I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
