theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
