Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
