I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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