wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
