I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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