yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
