just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
