i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I smell stomach acid.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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