I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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