I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
