Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize