the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
