Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
