Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
