ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
