How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
