I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize