I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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