Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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