How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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