Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize